The words you read next will be your last

charlie brooker twitter paul chambers strangle

Last week 27-year-old accountant Paul Chambers lost an appeal against his conviction for comments he made back in January via the social networking hoojamflip Twitter, venting his frustration when heavy snow closed the airport, leaving him unable to visit his girlfriend.

“Crap!” he wrote. “Robin Hood airport is closed. You’ve got a week and a bit to get your shit together otherwise I’m blowing the airport sky high!!”

Anti-terror experts intercepted this message and spent hours deciphering it, eventually uncovering a stark coded warning within, cunningly disguised as a series of flippant words.

 

“Orientals do not sweat like us” – John Lennon circa 1970

An irritated John Lennon wrote the following note – currently on display at the Mansion on O – in the 1970s, after discovering that one of his white shirts had somehow turned yellow in colour whilst at the hands of some laundry workers. Clearly, Yoko Ono had nothing to to do with it.

Transcript follows. Image courtesy of Gene Teale, but additional thanks go to Andrew Warlick for also suggesting this letter.

Daily Star admit Raoul Moat/Grand Theft Auto story was complete bullshit.

ROCKSTAR GAMES – GRAND THEFT AUTO – AN APOLOGY
 On 21 July we published an article claiming that the video games company Rockstar Games were planning to release a version of their popular Grand Theft Auto video games series titled “Grand Theft Auto Rothbury”.
 
We also published what we claimed would be the cover of this game, solicited comments from a family member impacted by the recent tragedy and criticised Rockstar Games for their alleged plans.
 
We made no attempt to check the accuracy of the story before publication and did not contact Rockstar Games prior to publishing the story. We also did not question why a best selling and critically acclaimed fictional games series would choose to base one of their most popular games on this horrifying real crime event.
 
It is now accepted that there were never any plans by Rockstar Games to publish such a game and that the story was false.We apologise for publishing the story using a mock-up of the game cover, our own comments on the matter and soliciting critical comments from a grieving family member.
 
We unreservedly apologise to Rockstar Games and we have undertaken not to repeat the claims again. We have also agreed to pay them a substantial amount in damages which they are donating to charity.

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via http://tabloid-watch.blogspot.com

Prince says “the Internet is completely over” | VentureBeat

In the middle of a starstruck interview by a reporter for London’s Daily Mirror, the artist currently known as Prince launched into a short, punchy tirade against Internet music distribution.

Prince, in case you haven’t followed him lately, has shut down his own website. He has ordered clips of his music removed from YouTube. Asked to explain why his next album will be sold as CD only and won’t be downloadable, he said:

“The Internet’s completely over. I don’t see why I should give my new music to iTunes or anyone else. They won’t pay me an advance for it and then they get angry when they can’t get it … The Internet’s like MTV. At one time MTV was hip and suddenly it became outdated.

“Anyway, all these computers and digital gadgets are no good. They just fill your head with numbers and that can’t be good for you.”

Is MTV really outdated? The network’s Video Music Awards drew an estimated 5.8 million viewers. In the first quarter of this year, MTV.com averaged about 25 million unique monthly visitors. Maybe Prince should fill his head with those numbers.

His real gripe seems to be that he’s not getting paid enough for digitally distributed music. He wants an advance from iTunes, rather than waiting to see how much they pay him. He doesn’t believe the conventional geek wisdom that posting his songs on the Internet will drive sales of music and merchandise to new heights.

Credit the guy for not following the pack, and for challenging the conventional wisdom that the Internet makes everything better for everybody. But you’d think Prince of all people would have one hell of a social media presence. Think how hot he’d be on Twitter. Instead, he’s left the playing field wide open for Net-savvy acts like Chester French. He will need to convince the multitudes that it’s the Net and not Prince that is over. There’s one obvious path to that: If Prince can crank out another hit without the help of the Internet, he’ll have a lot more credibility.

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Daily Mail Reports iPhone 4 Story Based On Spoof Twitter Account #Fail

Apple boss Steve Jobs reveals iPhone 4 may be recalled

 

By Richard Ashmore

 

The much-vaunted new iPhone 4 may be recalled, Apple boss Steve Jobs revealed last night.

Posting a message on the social networking site Twitter, the tycoon said: ‘We may have to recall the new iPhone. This I did not expect.’

Launched in Britain last week, the £500 handset has been dogged by technical problems.

 

 

Steve Jobs shows Russian President Dimitry Medvedev the new iPhone 4. The Apple boss has revealed the new phone may be recalled following a glut of complaints

Steve Jobs shows Russian President Dimitry Medvedev the new iPhone 4. The Apple boss said the new phone may be recalled following a glut of complaints

Reception has been found to cut out when users cover a metal band built into the phone’s bottom left-hand corner.

The new iPhone was also said to be unsuitable for left-handed people.

Mr Jobs responded to complaints about the new iPhone losing its signal by telling users to ‘just avoid holding it in that way’.

Angry users have complained that the phone’s reception suddenly plunges to almost zero when they simply hold it in their hand.

Dozens of videos have been placed on YouTube showing the iPhone 4 losing signal the moment the metal antenna that surrounds the edge of the new device is covered.

Mr Jobs issued his bizarre advice as he responded to an email from a user on the Ars Technica technology news site who had complained about the sudden loss of signal.

 

A clip from an iPhone 4 advert which shows the model holding the device in the 'wrong' way

A clip from an iPhone 4 advert which shows the model holding the device in the ‘wrong’ way

 

In an astonishingly blunt response, Mr Jobs replied: ‘Just avoid holding it in that way. All phones have sensitive areas’.

In a statement, Apple said: ‘Gripping any mobile phone will result in some attenuation of its antenna performance, with certain places being worse than others depending on the placement of the antennas.’

‘This is a fact of life for every wireless phone. If you ever experience this on your iPhone 4, avoid gripping it in the lower left corner in a way that covers both sides of the black strip in the metal band, or simply use one of many available cases.’

Apple claims that using one of its ‘bumpers’ – which cost £25 each and clip over the iPhone to protect it – will stop the user’s hand interfering with the signal.

apple1iphone2.jpg

Another iPhone 4 ad shows the model’s hand blocking the antenna

The firm is selling the rubber bumpers on its website but none will be shipped to the UK until July 16th.

Users have flooded Twitter with rumours about the problem and stop-gap remedies including using tape to cover the bottom of the phone.

Left-handed users are being particularly affected because when they hold the phone in their left hand their fingers cover more of the right-hand side of the phone – where the antenna is.

The left side of the iPhone 4 receives Wi-Fi signals while the right side picks up the 3G signal for calls.

Technology website T3 ran a test using one of the ‘bumper’ cover for the phone which appears to solve the issue.

Danish wireless technology expert called Gert Frølund Pedersen told Wired magazine that the problem is probably because the phone’s new antenna is built into the metal frame which surrounds the device.

‘Human tissue will have an inhibitory effect on the antenna. Touch means that a larger portion of the antenna energy turns into heat and lost.

‘This makes the antenna less efficient to send and receive radio signals,’ he said.

A loss of signal, known as attenuation, can occur when an antenna is bridged.

Holding it in your hand will change the length of the antenna and interfere with the specific wavelengths it is calibrated to pick up.

The Apple iPad also faced some teething problems when it was launched with users reporting problems when they tried to connect to wi-fi. A software update had to be issued to sort this problem out.

 

A new iPhone complete with black rubber 'bumper' which Apple claims will help solve the problem

A new iPhone complete with black rubber ‘bumper’ which Apple claims will help solve the problem

And the iPhone 4 is not the first Apple 3G phone to have problems with its reception – users also reported problems with the earlier iPhone 3GS when it was first released too.

There have also been early reports of problems with the iPhone’s screen.

Launched by Steve Jobs as ‘retina display’, with an paralleled definition and number of pixels, some users in the US have complained about some yellow discolouration.

The spots can appear in corners and the thin bands have shown up toward the tops and bottoms of customers’ screens. 

Some Apple insiders on web forums have claimed that the yellow colour is down to the clue that the firm uses to bond the glass on its screens which has not had the time to evaporate.

They claim that the discolouration will clear after a day or two as the glue evaporates.

The iPhone 4 was unveiled earlier this month. At the time, Mr Jobs said it represented ‘the biggest leap since the original iPhone’.

It offers video calling, a higher-resolution display and the ability to record and view high-definition video.

The new handset updates the iPhone 3GS which launched a year ago and sold more than a million units in its first weekend.

A spokesperson for Apple was not immediately available to comment.

 

Fuck You Willie Walsh! #workersrights


Strikers at Heathrow on 22 March 2010

Four sets of five-day strikes had originally been planned

Fresh BA strikes look set to go ahead after a panel of senior judges, including the Lord Chief Justice, overturned a ban on industrial action.

BA was granted an injunction on Monday after the High Court ruled that the Unite union had not reported results of its strike ballot correctly to members.

But Unite appealed against the decision, and the panel ruled 2-1 in favour of overturning the injunction.

Strikes are now free to go ahead, possibly from as early as next week.

The two sides have been rowing over pay, jobs and working conditions.

Unite members outside the court sang “we are the champions” after the verdict was announced.

But Unite joint leader Derek Simpson said: “This is not a moment for being triumphant. We shouldn’t have been in this process.

“The case brought by BA was trivial and, in my opinion, irresponsible.”

The first strike had been scheduled to begin on Tuesday, ending on 22 May, with the three further strikes planned to begin on 24 May, 30 May and 5 June.

Despite the ruling in favour of BA on Monday, flights have been disrupted this week with the airline unable to reinstate all services.