Willie Walsh fists us all

British Airways has won a High Court injunction to stop the latest strikes by its cabin staff.
The decision was based on a technicality and whether the Unite union followed rules in contacting its members with strike result details.

BA said it was delighted that the “extreme and unjustified” strike could not go ahead.

BA boss Willie Walsh said the strike action had been “unjustified” and he hoped the injunction would now give those involved in the dispute time to pause and reflect on the issues.

Unite joint leader Tony Woodley said “irrespective of how many technicalities the company found” it would not stop the union balloting its members again.

He added: “Its implication is that it is now all but impossible to take legally protected strike action against any employer who wishes to seek an injunction on even the most trivial grounds.

“Because of the far-reaching consequences of this injunction for all trade unions and indeed for our democracy, we are seeking leave to appeal immediately.”

“This is not a victory for the travelling public, it’s a victory for greedy fat-cat bosses.
Striking (whatever the reason) is a basic human right that men and women have died to achieve. If the courts are genuinely keen to see every tiny ballot rule adhered to, perhaps they should insist on calling another General Election.
Remember the hundreds of people queuing and not able to vote at 10 o’clock on May 6th?”

Fraser Speirs on the iPad

I couldn’t agree more with Fraser on the following:

One Showstopper

There is one major workflow showstopper that I’ve hit so far and it’s to do with online purchasing. Usually, at the end of a transaction, there’s a page that you’re invited to “print for your records”.

On the Mac, I usually ‘print’ this page to a PDF and stick it in my Dropbox. On the iPad, this is the end of the road. There’s no way to store this page.

The only workaround – and it’s more of a hack – is to take a screenshot of the iPad display. There are several problems with this but they are principally: your receipt may span more than one page and you can’t make a screenshot look like you really did print it (in case of later dispute).

I hope Apple will implement a “Send PDF of this page” feature in Safari that will convert the current page to PDF and email it off somewhere. That would do.”

Read Frasers full post here:

http://speirs.org/blog/2010/4/26/ipad-two-weeks-in.html

The Daily Mash – FEARS GROW THAT RECYCLING COULD BECOME INCONVENIENT

A PLAN to install slop buckets in homes and offices has raised concerns that being environmentally-friendly could start to become a bit of a pain in the arse again.

Environment secretary Hilary Benn boosted Labour’s election chances yesterday by pledging to fit every building in the country with a festering bucket of left-over salmon that will stink like a Frenchwoman’s gusset by the middle of August.

But according to recent surveys most consumers believe buying expensive goods with pictures of trees on them is a valid contribution and have no intention of living next to a swing bin full of rancid cheese and luke-warm Fanta.

Architect and father-of-two Tom Logan said: “I don’t mind buying the rainforest biscuits or the dreadful sandals made from reconditioned cat uterus.

“I’ve even gotten rid of my telly and now take great satisfaction in telling people that I watch films and the news on my laptop.

“But I’ll be buggered if I’m fingering bits of sweaty cucumber. Plus it’s all a bit wartime and unsexy, like my nan.”

Teacher and Ecover washing up liquid owner Nikki Hollis said: “I firmly believe we must safeguard the planet’s natural resources for future generations, as long as it doesn’t involve too much fucking about.

“I just hope the government doesn’t raise the moral obligation bar to a level where you have to put yourself out a bit, for example by buying old fashioned nappies that you have to wash the turds off, or take glass bottles back to the shop for a refund like one of the Bash Street Kids.”

Mr Benn said: “There’s some lovely stuff right at the bottom. I think this used to be a gherkin.”

 

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BBC News – Ringo Starr blames eBay for autograph ban

Ringo Starr

Starr’s autograph often features a five-pointed star under his name

Ex-Beatle Ringo Starr says his decision to stop giving autographs was prompted by fans selling signed items on eBay.

The drummer posted a video message on his website in October 2008 saying he would no longer sign memorabilia, and that fan mail would be thrown away.

Speaking to BBC Radio 2 on Sunday, Starr said he had become aware that fans “were making money” from his name.

“I was signing and then they were on eBay the next day. So I just decided, I think I’ve done my share. That’s it.”

Starr told Sir Terry Wogan he had written “millions” of autographs before imposing the ban, and he had been surprised by the reaction to his announcement.

“I honestly didn’t think it was going to be world news – BBC and CNN,” he laughed.

Starr announced his autograph ban in this video

Items carrying the autograph of all four Beatles can still command a high price – a business card signed by the Fab Four sold for £3,500 at Christie’s last year.

But the price of Starr’s signature on its own varies widely, according to Mark Riddle from autograph experts Memorabilia UK.

Items signed during his time in the Beatles can be expected to fetch between £300-500, but more recent items will sell for around £80-120.

Mr Riddle says the value of Starr’s signature had risen slightly, around 30%, since his self-imposed ban.

Ringo Starr’s full interview from Weekend Wogan will be available on the BBC Radio 2 website from Monday, 12 April.


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Shit drummer from Liverpool refuses to give any autographs. What an absolute prick!

Dressed as a clown the Archbishop of Canterbury says Catholic Church has lost “all credibility”

Dr Rowan Williams

The Archbishop of Canterbury has said the Roman Catholic Church in Ireland has lost “all credibility” over the way it had dealt with paedophile priests.

Rowan Williams said the problems, which had been a “colossal trauma” for the Church, also affected the wider public.

BBC religious affairs correspondent Robert Pigott said Dr Williams’ words represented unusually damning criticism from the leader of another Church.

Archbishop of Dublin Diarmuid Martin said he was “stunned” by the remarks.

He said those working to renew the church would be ” immensely disheartened” by Dr Williams’ comments.

The Church in Ireland said the issue of abuse was being taken “very seriously” and was being addressed by the Pope and the Irish bishops.

‘Everybody’s problem’

Dr Williams’ voiced his first comments about the scandal in an interview to be broadcast on BBC Radio 4′s Start the Week programme.

He said: “I was speaking to an Irish friend recently who was saying that it’s quite difficult in some parts of Ireland to go down the street wearing a clerical collar now.

“And an institution so deeply bound into the life of a society, suddenly becoming, suddenly losing all credibility – that’s not just a problem for the Church, it is a problem for everybody in Ireland.”

Catherine Pepinster, editor of Catholic weekly newspaper The Tablet said his comments were “very striking” and that many Catholics would share his opinion.


Archbishop Williams’ comments will be for them immensely disheartening and will challenge their faith even further
Archbishop of Dublin, Diarmuid Martin

Last month, Pope Benedict XVI apologised to victims of child sex abuse by Catholic priests in Ireland. The issue has prompted increasing controversy about his role in handling the accusations, before he became Pope.

But his supporters say the Pope had introduced rules to protect children.

The Archbishop of Dublin, head of the biggest Catholic diocese in Ireland, said: “I still shudder when I think of the harm that was caused to abused children. I recognise that their Church failed them.

“I also journey with those – especially parents and priests – who work day by day to renew the Catholic Church in this diocese and who are committed to staying with their Church and passing on the faith in wearying times.

“Archbishop Williams’ comments will be for them immensely disheartening and will challenge their faith even further,” he said.

Church of Ireland Archbishop of Dublin Dr John Neill – a senior figure in Ireland’s Anglican communion – said he had listened to the remarks of Dr Williams with “deep regret”.

“As one who… acknowledges the pain and deep suffering of the victims of abuse, I also feel for the countless priests and bishops who daily live out their Christian vocation,” he said.

He said he supported Archbishop Martin “as he works for the proclamation of the Gospel and the healing of hurt, including that of the faithful and their clergy whose ministry has been undermined by those guilty of the abuse of children.”

Vows of silence

Rowan Williams’ comments came after Pope Benedict’s personal preacher, the Rev Raniero Cantalamessa, compared criticism of the pontiff and Church over child abuse to “collective violence” suffered by the Jews.

Speaking at Good Friday prayers in St Peter’s Basilica, Father Cantalamessa quoted a Jewish friend as saying the accusations reminded him of the “more shameful aspects of anti-Semitism”.

The Vatican said this was not its official position and the comments were criticised by Jewish groups and those representing abuse victims.

On Sunday, Cardinal Keith O’Brien, the head of the Roman Catholic Church in Scotland, is expected to apologise during his Easter address in Edinburgh to the victims of paedophile priests.

The Start the Week programme will be broadcast on BBC Radio 4 on Monday at 0900BST.


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Look in the mirror gobshite!

Dim UK Tabloids Report Ghost App Prank

20100305-ghost.jpg

Ahh, bless ‘em. The hacks at The Sun aren’t famous for hard-hitting investigative journalism, but at least you’d expect them to know an iPhone app when they see one.

A couple of weeks ago a builder fooled them (and the Daily Mail) into believing that he’d taken a photo of a ghostly boy on a building site in Hull.

But as the internet pointed out shortly afterwards, anyone can make the exact same ghostly figure appear pretty much anywhere they like, thanks to the Ghost Capture app for iPhone.

Even funnier are some of the comments posted under the stories. On the Daily Mail’s version, for example, Mel from Stroud says:

“i am mildly psychic and i snese this boy was evacualted from the war,his father died,his mother died of old age,he lives with an old couple and this used to be his school,hopes this helps everyone”

(To be honest, I don’t think for a minute that the journalists at either paper actually believed that the photo was real, and they probably did instantly work out where it came from. But The Sun’s purpose is to entertain as much as it is to inform – so they wrote it up in all innocent seriousness, knowing that readers with a clue would be in on the joke. And that some readers would fall for it.)

via cultofmac.com

Charlie Brooker on Tiger Woods, John Terry and Vernon Kay

Public contrition: Vernon Kay

Saying sorry in public: Vernon Kay Photograph: Richard Young / Rex Features

Tiger Woods said sorry. John Terry said sorry. Even �Vernon Kay said sorry. It’s a sorry state of affairs. If you were to rank the three in terms of transgression, that’s probably the order they’d fall in: Woods first, then Terry, and finally �Kay (pictured), who didn’t even cheat, or at least not in our physical realm. Texting flirty messages? Maybe unwise when you’re otherwise engaged in a relationship, but at the very worst it’s a Matrix shag. I’m not exactly what you’d call a fan of Kay’s presentational style, but I don’t derive any pleasure from watching him squirm and apologise to a pointing, cackling nation.

When did public displays of contrition become the norm? More to the point, who actually appreciates them? Sitting through any public apology is mortifying. It just feels wrong. And �unless the poor sod in �question is �saying sorry for something as �momentous as a war crime, it’s �entirely unnecessary. The public don’t need to hear it, because the public isn’t as �psychotically, self-regardingly deranged as the press. Consequently, these apologies are aimed not at the public, not at the fans or the �listeners, but the press. The press demands apologies on its own behalf, regardless of the will of the people. And it does this because it is insane, truly Caligula-level insane.

When it comes to the three scandals in question, the press has been �perpetually and erroneously outraged on behalf of the public. During the Terry debacle, I was working on a TV show that required me to watch hours of rolling news coverage, like a lab rat with its eyes glued open. TV news vox pops are about as far from a scientific survey as it’s possible to get without literally gluing a scientific survey to a rock, blasting it into deep space and bicycling like billyo in the opposite direction, but still: not one member of the public, with a microphone shoved in front of their face, managed to work up even 1% of the indignant fury of some media pundits. For the first �couple of days, they couldn’t find �anyone who wouldn’t simply shrug and say, “So what? It’s his private life.” After a week’s worth of media sabre-rattling and interminable witless debate over the morals of a man who kicks a ball around for a living, they managed to uncover a few %u2013 a few %u2013 pedestrians who were �grudgingly �prepared to admit that maybe he should step down, considering his �position as a role model to kids.

But the whole role-model-to-kids �argument was a bogus mantra in the first instance. For one thing, kids don’t care about or even comprehend their idols’ sex lives, and for another, if you’re so worried about the havoc �Terry’s shenanigans could wreak on impressionable minds, stop dredging up the details and printing them in simplified prose a child could �understand, accompanied by massive photographs of his alleged �mistress in her underwear. And besides, even if Terry had been caught �having sex with a Cabbage Patch Doll in the window of Hamleys, he’d still be a better role model than any tabloid newspaper. A child who idolised the tabloids would grow up to be a �sanctimonious, flip-flopping, phone-tapping Peeping Tom who thinks puns are hilarious and spends half its life desperately �rooting through bins for a �living. If I had a child like that, I’d divorce it. Or kill it. Whichever proved cheapest.

Of course, the press has to feign outrage on behalf of the public because that’s �virtually the only thing that lends the public-interest argument much weight when you’re dealing with ethical transgressions in the private lives of sportsmen. It’s interesting that when the News of the World lawyer (the cheerfully named Mr Crone) spoke to ITN about the �lifting of Terry’s super-injunction, he said that too often the public’s right to know is overlooked in �favour of “wealthy and pampered” �celebrities and footballers. That’s true, of course, but the words “wealthy” and “pampered” seemed to be �delivered with particular emphasis, as though this was a noble victory for the �downtrodden little guy, rather than an immense corporation that makes a fortune from prying into the sex lives of hapless soap stars and �clueless ball-wallopers. It would’ve been refreshing if he’d said: “This is an important victory for freedom of the press %u2013 but never mind that: wahey! Filth galore!” And then rolled his eyes and rubbed his belly and performed a cartoon backflip. But no. He didn’t.

Instead, Terry paid the price for that daft super-injunction: he was publicly tarred and feathered. As was Woods. As was Kay. In the west, adultery isn’t �punishable by �stoning. Instead, if you’re famous (and even if you’ve only committed virtual adultery by text) it’s punishable by kicking. Step out of line and the press will encircle and kick you. And kick you and kick you and kick you until you beg for forgiveness. At which point, if you’re lucky, they’ll chortle and sneer and move on. They must be �frightfully proud.

I always had Jesus down as a shirt-lifter…

Sir Elton John

Sir Elton says he is disillusioned with fame

Sir Elton John has claimed Jesus was a “super-intelligent gay man” in an interview with a US magazine.

The singer also told Parade Jesus was “compassionate”, forgiving and “understood human problems”.

A spokesman for the Church of England said: “Sir Elton’s reflection that Jesus calls us all to love and forgive is one shared by all Christians.”

“But insights into aspects of the historic person of Jesus are perhaps best left to the academics,” he added.

Sir Elton said in the interview: “On the cross, he forgave the people who crucified him. Jesus wanted us to be loving and forgiving.

“I don’t know what makes people so cruel. Try being a gay woman in the Middle East – you’re as good as dead,” he added.

In the interview, the singer also said he did not like being a celebrity any more because “fame attracts lunatics”.

“Princess Diana, Gianni Versace, John Lennon, Michael Jackson, all dead. Two of them shot outside their houses. None of this would have happened if they hadn’t been famous. I never had a bodyguard, ever, until Gianni died,” he said.

The full interview will be published on Parade’s website on Friday.


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The long hair and obsession with buggery was a dead give away.

Baby P stepfather gets napalmed, great stuff!

Baby Peter stepfather scalded in prison attack

Stephen Barker, jailed over the infant’s death, has suffered serious burns after being attacked by another prisoner

One of three people jailed over the death of Baby Peter has been scalded in an attack in prison.

 

Steven Barker, the boyfriend of the abused infant’s mother, was reported to have suffering scalding to his face and arm after another prisoner threw boiling water over him.

 

The Sun reported Barker, who is serving a life sentence at high security Wakefield Prison, West Yorkshire, was scarred with a mixture of boiling water and sugar, known in prison circles as “napalm”. The improvised weapon sticks to the skin and intensifies burns, one of the principal effects of jelly-like napalm bombs.

 

But a spokesman for the Ministry of Justice, who confirmed a prisoner was treated for wounds sustained in Wakefield Prison, said sugar was not used in the attack.

 

Islamic terrorist Dhiren Barot, who plotted to detonate a series of dirty bombs in the UK, was moved from Frankland prison, Durham, when he was badly burned by another prisoner in a boiling water attack in 2007.

 

A source told the Sun newspaper today: “To say Barker is disliked is an understatement – he is reviled. The other inmates all hate him with a passion.

 

“When Barker came here everyone knew what he had done to Baby P. Your card is marked if you have a crime against your name concerning kids.

 

“After the attack everyone was in good spirits, knowing someone had hurt Barker. The guy who did it will be getting applauded everywhere he goes now.”

 

A Prison Service spokesman said: “A prisoner at HMP Wakefield was assaulted by another. Staff intervened quickly and the prisoner received treatment. Police have been informed.”

 

Barker was jailed at the Old Bailey in May last year for contributing to the 50 injuries Peter suffered in his short life.

 

The boy had been horrifically abused in the house his mother Tracey Connelly shared with Barker in Tottenham, north London.

 

Connelly is serving a minimum of five years for causing or allowing Peter’s death. Barker’s brother Jason Owen, who was a lodger in the council house, was also jailed.

 

Last month Barker lost his appeal against a further conviction for raping a girl of two.

Charlie Brooker switches to a Mac…

Members of the technology media try out Apple's

The iPad . . . ideal for keeping your lap warm. Photograph: Kimberly White/Reuters

A star appears over San Francisco and a new gizmo is born. The iPad! At first glance it resembles an iPhone in unhandy, non-pocket-sized form. But look a little longer, and . . Nope. You were right first time.

Not that that’s necessarily a bad thing. Apple excels at taking existing concepts – computers, MP3 players, conceit – and carefully streamlining them into glistening ergonomic chunks of concentrated aspiration. It took the laptop and the coffee table book and created the MacBook. Now it’s taken the MacBook and the iPhone and distilled them into a single device that answers a rhetorical question you weren’t really asking.

It’s an iPhone for people who can’t be arsed holding an iPhone up to their face. A slightly-further-away iPhone that keeps your lap warm. A weird combination of portable and cumbersome: too small to replace your desktop, too big to fit in your pocket, unless you’re a clown. It can play video, but really – do you want to spend hours staring at a movie in your lap? Sit through Lord of the Rings and you’d need an osteopath to punch the crick out of your neck afterwards. It can also be used as an ebook, something newspapers are understandably keen to play up, but because it’s got an illuminated display rather than a fancy non-backlight “digital ink” ebook screen, it’ll probably leave your eyes feeling strained, as though your pupils are wearing tight shoes.

The iPad falls between two stools – not quite a laptop, not quite a smartphone. In other words, it’s the spork of the electronic consumer goods world. Or rather it would be, were it not for one crucial factor: it looks ideal for idly browsing the web while watching telly. And I suspect that’s what it’ll largely be used for. Millions of people watch TV while checking their emails: it’s a perfect match for them.

Absurdly, Apple keeps trying to pretend it’ll make your life more efficient. Come off it. It’s an oblong that lights up. I’m sick of being pitched to like I’m a one-man corporation undertaking a personal productivity audit anyway. I don’t want to hear how the iPad is going to make my life simpler. I want to hear how it’ll amuse and distract me; how it plans to anaesthetise me into a numb, trancelike state. Call it the iDawdler and aggressively market it as the world’s first utterly dedicated timewasting device: an electronic sedative to rival diazepam, alcohol or television. If Apple can convince us of that, it’s got itself a hit.

Some people are complaining because it doesn’t have a camera in it. Spoiled techno-babies, all of them. Just because something is technically possible, it doesn’t mean it has to be done. It’s technically possible to build an egg whisk that makes phonecalls, an MP3 player that dispenses capers or a car with a bread windscreen. Humankind will continue to prosper in their absence. Not everything needs a 15-megapixel lens stuck on the back, like a little glass anus. Give these ingrates a camera and they’d whine that it didn’t have a second camera built into it. What are you taking photographs of anyway? Your camera collection?

And don’t bring up videocalls to defend yourself: it’d be creepy talking to a disembodied two-dimensional head being held at arm’s length, and besides, the iPad is too heavy to hold in front of your face for long, so you’d end up balancing it in your lap, which means both callers would find themselves staring up one another’s others nostrils, like a pair of curious dental patients. (Videocalls are overrated anyway. You just sit there staring at each other with nothing to say. It’s like a prison visit: eventually one of you has to start masturbating just to break the tension.)

Personally, I’m not sure whether I’ll buy an iPad, although I think – I think – I’m about to buy a MacBook. Yes, I was a dyed-in-the-wool Mac sceptic for years. Yes, I’ve written screeds bemoaning the infuriating breed of smug Apple monks who treat all PC owners with condescending pity. But being chained to a Sony Vaio for the last few weeks has convinced me that I’d rather use a laptop that just works, rather than one that’s so ponderous, stuttering and irritating I find myself perpetually on the verge of running outside and hurling it into traffic. (That’s a moan about Sony laptops, not PCs in general, by the way. I’m keeping my desktop PC, thanks: that’s lovely. Smooth as butter. Better than I deserve, in fact.)

I just hope buying a MacBook won’t turn me into an iPrick. I want a machine that essentially makes itself invisible, not a rectangular bragging stone. If, 10 minutes after buying it, I start burbling on about how it’s left me more fulfilled as a human being, or find myself perched at a tiny Starbucks table stroking its glowing Apple with one hand while demonstratively tapping away with the other in the hope that passersby will assume I’m working on a screenplay, it’s going straight in the bin.

The iBin. Complete with built-in camera. $599.99.

• This article was amended on 1 February 2010. The original said that Apple distilled the iBook and the iPhone into a single device. The iBook reference has been corrected.

Mac sceptic Charlie Brooker switches to a MacBook saying “being chained to a Sony Vaio for the last few weeks has convinced me that I’d rather use a laptop that just works”.